Screaming in silence!

Ok, I'm going to let you guys into a secret......
I came home from work tonight, sat on the edge of the bed and wept!
I don't mean the bucket loaded outright bawling, more the I've had enough and I can't take this shit no longer.

At this point you may think I'm referring to work but I'm not, I'm referring to the sheer agonising, searing pain that is in my left elbow at present.
If you read my last post on Sunday you may recall the start of an attack, well Monday morning I got up dressed and ready for work in not a lot f pain but a dull ache, that was until I got in the car and tried to change gear.. I got to the end of the road and had to turn back, I simply couldn't take it.
No problem as I signed on at home and got comfy for a day working at the dining room table, I had everything I needed, laptop, drinks, fruit and phones. Bid farewell to the kids and the other half as they set off for their day at school and work respectively. By this time it's 9am and the ache is turning painful so I thought nothing for it but painkillers. At this point I am a couple of days short of three weeks without the need of painkillers of any kind.

I took indometacin.

Ask anybody who takes this prescribed drug and it is the spawn of the devil himself. The first half hour I was fine and then I started to feel really nauseous. You may ask why them then? Simple, they're the only thing I've found which works.
I managed to complete a full day doing work and got a lot completed but I felt like shit until late into the evening.
Nothing else for it I had an early night but felt ok and the pain had dissipated. This morning I got up and drove to work no problem. Had lunch and then the ache started again, by half past three I was rubbing the elbow to try and ease the pain thinking only an hour and half to go.
At ten to five I got the call - meeting at five o'clock but don't worry it's just a quick ten minutes.
Ok I thought ten minutes but by this time this elbow is red and hurting like hell. The ten minute meeting finished at twenty past six.
I packed my things and drove home in silence which for me is rare as I love listening to the radio on the way home, it helps me to unwind, luckily the traffic was clear so not many gear changes needed.

By the time I walked in the house I had to be helped off with my jacket and the weight of the shirt sleeve on my elbow was agony. I hastily ate my evening meal in silence and came upstairs because I didn't want the kids to see me, I sat on the bed and wept.

Because someone isn't cased in plaster or using a wheelchair etc doesn't mean they're not physically hurting!!!!

I have suffered with this for over twenty years now and it has never ever got to me like today and the reason for this is because due to the change in diet etc over the past month I thought I had finally turned a corner as I hadn't had a bad attack then this comes along and pole axes me.

I still truly believe that I brought this on myself on Sunday as not having any fruit or anywhere near enough hydration but I will persist with my battle against the dreaded gout.

It may look as if the above is all one big moaning session and maybe it is but if more people are aware of gout the more we can understand.

As the saying goes 'you live and learn'

Pete.